What's the secret to a happy marriage?
My husband is very patient. He loves to cook, listens to me endlessly, and brings me coffee in bed in the morning. I think the secret is picking a good partner.
Author John Gottman says that happily married people respond kindly to hundreds of small bids for attention every day. When one talks about something he likes, his partner acts interested. She doesn't roll her eyes or ignore him even if the topic is really boring.
Author Gary Chapman says the secret to a happy marriage is "speaking" your partner's "love language." He says the languages are
- talking
- touching
- service
- time together
- gifts.
When love languages are different, expressions of love may not be recognized. If service is a love language, a man might work two jobs for love of his wife. If time together is her love language, she may not feel loved by his service.
I have a friend with a sweet husband who constantly works around the house, loves to spend time with her, hugs her a lot, communicates well, but never remembers to buy gifts. When he looks surprised it's her birthday again, she's angry and feels unloved. Service and talking are his love languages. Hers are time together and gifts. They really love each other but they often don't feel loved.
What is your love language? What do you think helps to make a marriage happy?
No comments:
Post a Comment